The Bigsibling Blog

I found this poem on the ‘net, and thought I just had to share it with you…

Politically Correct Version of ‘The Night Before Christmas!’‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E P A
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation
Demanding millions in over-due compensation

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz
Demanding from now on her title was Ms

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her
Nothing that might be construed to pollute
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise
Nothing for just girls. Or just for boys
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific

No candy or sweets … they were bad for the tooth
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was ecological

No baseball, no football … someone could get hurt;
Besides; playing sports exposed kids to dirt
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away

So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue
Everyone, everywhere … even you
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth …
“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth”

Based on an unoriginal earwig from P Halliwell <p.halliwellat x400 dot icl dot co dot uk>, December 1996.

source

Tech Tags: political correctness santa claus night before christmas

Stumble it!

Bigsibling is a technology freak. He loves all the new stuff and feels he just has to have it.  For months now he has been reading about the new version of Microsoft Windows. 

You have probably heard of it.  It is called “Vista.” And has an ultra-cool Aero GUI styling.  Bigsibling did the research, and he knows that his machine will run the Vista with the Aero styling and he wants needs it.  With that in mind, he is shamelessly begging for donations to help him upgrade his computer with the new Windows Vista Premium (the one with the phat Aero styling) when it is released to the general public in February. 

If you take a gander over to the right, you’ll see a “PayPal Donate” button.  If you have an inkling and a buck or two, feel free to donate to Bigsibling’s “Upgrade to Windows Vista” fund.

As always, thanks for visiting!

Stumble it!

Sacromentoan Don White isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.  He isn’t brightest bulb in the pack.  He isn’t…well…you get the picture.  This idiot criminal deserves everything that is coming to him. 

This guy goes to Kansas City, perpetrates mortgage fraud using inflated property appraisals, then gets caught for stupidity.  He probably could have gotten away with it, but got too nervous when the folks at the airport asked about his bulging pockets as he was trying to board a plane.

Gee, where to start at the airport.  First off, this dweeb has $70 thousand stuffed in the pockets of his cargo pants.  That is okay because (at least as far as Bigsibling knows) there is nothing illegal about travelling around the country with American cash.  But this guy can’t even get through the metal detectors so he needed a pat-down.  When the TSA dudes find bulges in his pants pockets they ask him about it.

Now this is where he get’s somewhat inventive and gets a couple of extra points in Bigsiblings book for actually having the cajones to try to pull this one off.  Figuring all the PC crap going around the country these days, and how no one wants to be labeled as a racist, White claims to be a Muslim and the bulges in his pockets are his prayer books.  You just gotta love that!  He thinks he is in the clear and they are going to wave him through (frankly, Bigsibling is confused they didn’t send him on his way).

Long story short, they want him to put whatever is in his pockets through the x-ray machine, which is when he bolts out the door into traffic and is arrested because, that is definately suspicious behavior.  Then immediatly spills the beans to the po-po about the real-estate scam.

source

Stumble it!

WTF is going on in our schools?

Is there something in the water in Maryland?  In the 2005-2006 school season, 28 kindergarteners were suspended from school…for…wait for it…

SEX OFFENSES!  No, really, Bigsibling woudn’t pull you leg like this (especially in Maryland because he doens’t want to be accused of sexual harrasment).  But serisously.  These are KINDERGARTENERS!  Do you people in Maryland know anything about anything?  Is this what you want to teach your kids?  You can’t look at anyone?  You can’t touch anyone…EVER!  Bigsibling is just sick and tired of this PC zero-tolerance bullshit.  You people need to get a grip on reality.

Just the other day a 5 year old boy was written up for sexual harrasment because he pinched a classmate’s bottom.  5 YEARS OLD.  Get it?  You can count that high on ONE HAND!

Not far behind Maryland in the “school administrator’s an idiot” department is Texas where a 4 year old boy was suspsended for hugging the teacher’s aide.  A FOUR YEAR OLD GIVES A TEACHER A HUG AND GETS SUSPSENDED FOR SEXUAL HARRASMENT!?!?!?!?! 

Bigsibling just can’t figure any of this out.  He is beside himself.  Next thing you know, they are going to start cancelling Christmas progra…er….nevermind.  Bigsibling wonders how many times ol’ GW and Honest Abe have rolled over in their grave just in the last year.  He thinks ol’ Abe is looking down from heaven going ‘man, why did I even bother keeping the Union together if this is what they did to it.’

source

Stumble it!

Bigsibling would like to first thank his parents, they have always been there (even if mom is a Clinton loving liberal – sorry mom, but the truth hurts).  He’d like to thank Tim Berners-Lee for in essence creating the world wide web, and especially the United States Government for creating the internet, giving the internet to the world (for free) and for giving me the freedoms that each and every American citizen (an many others around the world) enjoy each and every day of our lives.  Oh, yeah, and God for giving him life, and Jesus for giving him life after death (did he forget anyone?  If he did, just please append your name to this list).

What Bigsibling is getting at is that he…yes, Bigsibling himself, has been named Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.”  He greatfully accepts this honor and all of the duty and responsibilities that are assigned to it herewith.

But seriously, what a cop out this is.  Time editors couldn’t give it to Bush again with good conscience, and the other super-influential are too evil to be seriously considered ( Korean dictator Kim Jong (mentally) Il, Iranian president Abujenhenywotshisname).

So instead of actually finding someone they could admire, that the general American population wouldn’t burn the editors in effigy over, they name everyone as their “Person of the Year.” 

What a croc!

source

Tech Tags: time person of the year thank you clinton mom apple pie America

Stumble it!

The accuser is black, the accused are white.  Apperantly that makes an open and closed case for Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong.  From the beginning of this whole Duke university LaCross rape case, everything has been hinky.

Nifong did win re-election, and Bigsibling is would bet dollars to donuts part of that is because of his relentless pit-bull like attacks on the three Duke students a drunk stripper accused of raping her.

It now seems that back in May a private laboratory conducted DNA analysis on body fluids taken from the victim’s body and under garments.  Those results were never released to the public (at the request of Mr. Nifong).  It was, in fact, a cover up. 

The photo line up that Nifong used to have the victim identify her alleged attackers was faulty and not only did not follow Durham PD policies, but it was such a sham it violated any thinking person’s idea of being remotely fair.

Now it looks like the case against the innocent students will probably be dismissed (without a clear verdict of not guilty).  This is probably Nifong’s tactic from the beginning.  He knew there was no way these kids were guilty, and there was no way he could have won, so he creates a climate where the students would get off on a ‘technicality.’

Now he can claim that he wanted to prosecute the students but the lab messed up in reporting their results, and that is why the kids went free.  Not because they are obviously innocent.

source

Tech Tags: Nifong Durham Duke LaCross rape victim innocent guilty DNA conspiracy

Stumble it!

According to the Irish Examiner those fun-loving peaceknick muslim terrorists are at it again.  It seems all of Europe is on high alert for the Christmas holidays and the good men and women of law enforcement and government spook agencies are doing all they can to combat them.

Although they admit there is no specific threat, they say warning lights are going off all over the place:

A senior French counter-terrorism official told The Associated Press that “all of the warning lights are red”, even though they had yet to uncover any specific plan.”The threat is at its highest level,” said the French official, who spoke anonymously because of the secretive nature of his job.

Of course, this is the French being quoted, and Bigsibling hears they once surrendered to Euro-Disney’s fireworks display.

But the English don’t seem terribly comfortable with the whole thing either:

Home Secretary John Reid said last Sunday that it was “highly likely” that terrorists would attempt to mount an attack over the holiday period, when the number of travellers boomed.Dame Eliza Manningham-Buller, the head of MI5, has said her agents are tracking almost 30 terrorist plots involving 1,600 suspects, and that at least five major terror plots had been thwarted since the July 2005 bomb attacks in London.

source

Maybe if we could just sit down with them and, you know, get to know them and why they want to kill everyone not like them, then maybe…just maybe… they wouldn’t want to kill us. (yeah, right)

Tech Tags: Christmas terrorism islamofascist muslims holiday season Christmas season

Stumble it!

“They told us that Santa was considered a Disney character” says J.D. Worley after he was asked to leave Disney World theme park for looking like Santa Claus.I’m sorry, but since when did Santa Claus become a Disney character?  This kind of crap just pisses me the hell off.  I’m starting to think my ex-co-worker is right when he claims that Disney is out the rule the world.

Imagine, in the Magic Kingdom, you get booted out because you look and dress like Santa, but on gay pride day they got fags in drag running around gob-knobbling in plain sight and do nothing.

Fracking Disney.  No wonder I’ll never take my kids there no matter how much they beg.  I’d rather take them somewhere worthy…like Hooters!!!!

source

Tech Tags: santa claus santa disney christmas disney character

Stumble it!

I have been saying this in not such a great way for years.  That multiculutralism was destroying the American culture.  That in the interest of retaining their own culture, and not assilimating into the American culture had the by-product of diluting the culture that has been created as uniquely American by way of genrations of prior immigrants’ aggressive assilimation.

I have never been able to put it as eloquently as  as Mr. Frank Salvato has here though.  I want to thank Frank for stating this position with such clarity and force.

Stumble it!

It seems the rabbi who created all the hub-bub about trees and no menorahs in the Sea-Tac airport has withdrawn his threat about a lawsuit if the menorah wasn’t displayed, so Sea-Tac put the trees back up.  They are in talks with the rabbi about putting up a menorah for next year’s hannakuh (sic?) celebration.

Stumble it!

« Previous entries